Thursday, December 30, 2010

I'm Not Gone After All

Now Playing:
by Sarah McLachlan

I was going to go to bed early tonight. I think I'm coming down with fighting off something (since Christmas). But, I've been stuck on Ravelry, Facebook, Slacker and a couple pregnancy sites for a while.

Oh yeah, this is what's inside of me now...

38 weeks. Yikes. That's a lot of baby.

I'm dialated 3 cm and effaced about 80%, she's head down... and has been for WELL over a month. 1 cm at first pelvic exam 3 weeks ago and 1 more cm each week, consistantly, since then. Stu keeps saying he's not ready (but also really is). He thinks the baby will be here before Monday. That's 3 days. I think this an appropriate spot for another yikes. Yikes.

I feel like I need to clean the house like crazy, but don't want to.

I've washed a lot of baby clothes... and socks... and realized that I washed them all with cheap Sun detergent and am now kicking myself because somewhere in the back of my mind I knew better and should have washed them with a gentle detergent. Mommy's so sorry, baby girl. I'll make Daddy go buy some new detergent just for you ASAP.

We have two car seats. The first one that hubby bought didn't fit in our tiny back seat. We haven't even tried the second one yet. Please, God, let it fit... and properly. She could be here any day.

I don't even have a Moby or Sleep Wrap yet for my "as much as possible" skin to skin Kangaroo Care (google it) with my little peanut as soon as she's born. My mom said she'd get me one, but keeps asking me to find where they are. Maybe this shouldn't bother me because mom's health isn't that great, but it does anyway.

My feet/ankles/legs won't stop being fat and sometimes it makes me wanna cry. I can only wear my tennis shoes to work now and don't feel very pretty/professional doing so. I only have one pair of maternity jeans left that are still comfortable and don't cut into my pelvic area and cause pain when I sit. All those other jeans also make me feel like I'm squishing the baby's head and that makes me sad.

I don't even have the bassinet I'm borrowing from my mom yet... and no crib. Which is okay, cuz we won't need a crib for a couple/few months anyway.

The house is so effing cold and our room gets chilly at night. I don't want the baby to be cold at night, but can't bring myself to let her sleep in our bed for fear of hurting her... or worse. I'll just dress her really warm. I wish I could turn up the heat.

The baby hurts me now, but I still love her more than anything in the world.

I'm nervous, but I can't wait to meet my little angel. I'm so anxious to see what she looks like! ♥

That is all.

...I think.

(P.S. to the hubby: I know, it'll all be okay and some of this rambling is just me being a neurotic pregnant lady and the rest is for laughs. Please don't let this post worry/upset you, lol.)


megan said...

when baby is sleeping at night swaddle her and put another blankie over top. im sure you know this just trying to be helpful :)

Gloria P. said...

Amber all that your feeling is normal for a first time mommy! The thought of labor, taking the baby home for the first time are all valid reasons for being nervous.
As for keeping the baby warm, just be sure to layer her clothes, and always keep in mind that too much heat incubates germs so you don't want it to warm either. I am very excited for you I know you waited a long time for your precious baby girl. Relax and the let the process take place, this is going to be the best day of your life!
Happy New Year and Please share a pic of baby Morgana as soon as you can!
Ps I know how you feel I had 10 pd babies and I am only 5 ft 2in and small framed! My back and pelvis were killing me the last few months and I had to wear flats to a wedding because I could not get my feet into a single pair of heels I owned. My baby girl is now 24!

Paula said...

Never been blessed with human babies . . .just the furry kind.

But, my neighbor swears by the baby cocoon I made for Aiden. Wheen they went to Colorado/Wyoming this year it was down-right cold. She put him in his jammies and then slipped him into the cocoon . . said he was snug as a bug in a rug.

You might "beg" a knitting/crocheting friend to whip one up for you . . since I know you are gonna be too busy for that.

Groovy Pumpkin said...

Hi I just read your post - I wonder if you've had your baby yet.

We bought a baby sleeping bag/grobag - which you can get in different tog ratings, and add blankets on top if you need to.

I'm still waiting for my baby to come, though have a C-section booked for 11th February.

Take care,
Jane x