4 - 1 = 3

Now Playing:
Nightmare Mash
by Billy Lee Riley
AOL Halloween Radio

Well, we have bad news. During our ultrasound Thursday, it was determined that there indeed was no baby in me, just an empty gestational sac. There was a baby at one time, but sometime very early on (we don't know exactly when) something probably just didn't develop correctly, so the pregnancy just stopped progressing and the tiny, tiny embryo reabsorbed back into my body, nature's way of terminating what was probably an unhealthy baby. But the gestational sac kept growing a little more and producing all the pregnancy hormones that make a body act pregnant.

[Correction on above paragraph: It has been explained to me again by my OB nurse and I finally understand it correctly. After fertilization, the egg starts splitting (multiplying) its cells. During this process something did not develop correctly and the clump of cells disintegrated. So there never was actually a baby.]

So, I took the rest of the day off of work and asked for Friday off as well so that we could do a medicinally induced miscarriage at home (of the sac, since there was no baby) and I could have the weekend to relax and recover, since this sort of thing can be physically and emotionally taxing.

I ♥ Lortab, I hate miscarrying... wouldn't wish it on my worst enemy, seriously.

Turns out that my body decided to miscarry naturally, just before the medicinal induction was to start.

It started at about 5 AM Friday morning and I was finally able to get to sleep once the pain began to subside at about 7:45 AM, one hour after taking a Lortab. We spoke with the nurse shortly after waking up at 10 and she said that everything we described is what she would expect. I actually feel pretty good physically and relieved that it went quickly and seems to have gone by the book. I am having the expected amount of bleeding and only a tiny bit of pain here and there. I'm taking it easy this weekend as to not stress out my body anymore, it's been through a lot.

I must say also, Stu was really great. He was strong, supportive, attentive, helpful and even scolded me for being a busy body patient while going through the scariest and most painful part of this process, lol. I love you so much, honey, thank you! ♥

Ryn actually slept through the whole thing, which is probably for the better. I'm sure being awake and aware during that probably would've been really hard for her.

I'm pretty okay emotionally. I made most of my peace with the possiblility after the previous ultrasound when we didn't see a baby. Stu and Ryn are having a little harder time right now and that's to be expected.

Lastly, I hope that none of you (male or female) have to go through this and if you already have, my compassion goes to you. I am glad that the worst is over and now our little family can start the healing process on the road to trying again.

Thank you to everyone for you prayers, support and love during all of this. It means the world to us. ♥

I Hate America's Next Top Model...

...because it sucks me in for almost a whole day and I get nothing I planned for the day done!

Now Playing:
Ghost Hunters
Judgement Day

So, we all watched about 8 hours of an America's Next Top Model marathon today. Yes, even Stu got sucked in. "I could be killing people* but I'm sucked in by this f***ing show!" Ahaha! That man sure makes me laugh.

*He's referring to an online war/fantasy type game.

We also have our second ultrasound coming up this Thursday. Gawd I'm so anxious. I just hope and pray that we'll see a healthy and strong baby in there and that everything is well. I'm dealing with the reality that there may not be a baby, but I'm hoping with everything that I have that there is. Odd that we got attached to the little thing already, isn't it? (Not really.) And sadly, Stu and I don't "feel" like I'm anymore pregnant. Other times I think, "There's gotta be a baby in there. There's just gotta. Otherwise my body wouldn't be acting pregnant still. Right? I mean, I still have my tiny baby bump." I'm so confused. I getting to the point that no matter what's actually going on, I just want to get to the part where I know. This is torture.

Saturday Stu, Ryn and I went to Bruce and Marissa's. Us girls watched movies and Marissa and I crocheted while the boys played a game of World of Warcraft boardgame.

Here's the results of the evening...


Hubby hasn't unpacked his desk coaster yet... so I made him another one. I'm not pushy about water ring prevention or anything.


Also, there seems to be a shortage of coasters in my living room as of late.


In my, as Stu describes it, obsession over something that's not a big deal, I had to make more coasters to protect our crappy tables and desks. Hey, coasters are a good habit! What if we get new funiture someday and nobody is in the habit of using coasters? BAM! Instant expensive crappy furniture. Gawd, I would hope we get new funiture someday in my lifetime, haha!

Have a good week everyone and wish us luck with the baby!

Slice Of Summer Coaster - Free Crochet Pattern

Sorry this is so late! Been a lot going on lately, plus first trimester exhaustion, haha!



Materials:
H hook
worsted weight yarn
yarn needle

With red or pink, ch 3, ss to 1st ch to form a ring.

Rnd 1 - ch 3, 11 dc in ring, ss to ch 3.

Rnd 2 - ch 3, dc in same st, 2dc in ea dc, ss to ch 3.

Rnd 3 - ch 3, dc in same st, 2 dc in ea dc, ss to ch 3, finish off, weave in ends.

Rnd 4 - With white attach to any st with a sc, sc in east st, ss to 1st sc, finish off, weave in ends.

Rnd 5 - With green, attach to any st with a ss, ch 2, hdc in same st, 2 hdc, (2 hdc in next st, 2 hdc) all around, join with ss to ch 2, finish off, weave in ends.

Embroider on seeds with black yarn.

Freedom In The Sky Coaster - Free Crochet Pattern

Sorry this is so late! Been a lot going on lately, plus first trimester exhaustion, haha!



Materials:
H hook
worsted weight yarn
yarn needle

With coaster color, ch 16.

Row 1 - sc in 2nd ch from hook and each remaining ch, ch 1, turn.

Row 2 - sc in each sc, ch 1, turn.

Border - sc evenly around coaster, doing 3 sc in each corner, ss to first sc, finish off.

Embroider fireworks onto coaster in chosen colors, as shown.

What's Goin' On Here?!?!

Here's a picture of the baby while on our way to the first prenatal appointment. (That's daddy's hand on mommy's leg there.)

They listened for the heartbeat and didn't hear it, which is normal for this early. But, with the little bit of bleeding I've had lately, an ultrasound was ordered for later in the week.

During that ultrasound, we saw a gestational sac, but no baby. Don't panic yet! The doctor said that either the preganancy has stopped progressing (sad face) or I'm not as far along as I thought I was since the machine put me at 6 weeks 5 days, not 8 weeks 6 days, like I thought I was. Cross your fingers that it's the latter.

I have found that is can be quite common (the internet is a wonderous thing). I also found on the internet that if you have an inverted (tilted) uterus, it can take longer to see the baby or hear it's heartbeat. And I'm 99.99% sure that I remember a nurse practitioner at a clinic some years ago telling me that I had a tilted uterus... so that might very well be what's going on.

We go in for another ultrasound on October 1st. We mostly feel that everything's fine, but still have those little worries in the back of our minds that there may not be a baby.

Thanks to all our friends and family who have given us reassurance and support. ♥



After watching "The Best Thing I Ever Ate", the bacon episode, on Food Network, Stu had the idea to make apple and bacon pancakes with a caramel cream cheese sauce.


They were really good! (Until after I was done and my stomach had an afterthought aversion to bacon, ugh.)


I made these butterfly cupcakes for my cousin Peachy's birthday and took them to our weekly knit meeting. They're red velvet with cream cheese icing. She loved them.

Not much to report in the world of knitting and crochet... just working on my mom's sweater and the baby blanket whenever I can find the energy and time.

Ef, Just Let Me Sleep!

Yes, growing a baby is hard work. All I want to do is sleep and I feel so lazy for it. I don't even really ever want to knit or crochet. *GASP* Isn't it awful? I'm doing hardly anything these days. It's all I can muster to (try to) load the dishwasher each night and do my laundry once a week.

Well, we had a tiny bit of a scare today. I had some bleeding, but we called the hospital and they said just to take it easy and go in if it got worse. It didn't, it got better and stopped. But, I laid on the couch all day watching Harry Potty movies (Potty? Ahaha! I totally didn't mean to type that!) and sipping strawberry Crush. Stu and Ryn did the grocery shopping, Ryn made me lunch and Stu finished my laundry that was started that morning. I'm sure everything is fine (the internet can be helpful with comfort or fear). Besides, we have our first OB appointment on Tuesday. Thanks to everyone who expressed concern!

Oddly enough, the one day I felt like I had the energy to do things, I had to stay put. Go figure.


8 Weeks Pregnant

...or am I? The last ultrasound put me at 6 weeks and 5 days. So, really who knows how far I am here. The jury is still out on this one.


Mom and I got some maternity clothes from the thrift store. Good office pants are HARD to find at the thrift store!


Before we even knew I was pregnant my mom bought a couple girl things. So, when we went shopping for maternity clothes, I got a boy outfit too, considering we have no idea what it is yet... Although, Stu gave his prediction of what we'd be having on Friday night. Ryn and I made him swear on a bunch of his possesions too.

He and Ryn we're horsin' around tickling each other and he mumbled, "I'll kill you." I said, "Hey, don't threaten our daughter." He said, "Which one?" I was like, "Wha... Are you saying what I think you are?" He was. He predicted Ashley would have a girl before anyone could know and she did.

Also, my mom said it was going to be a girl and my friend Christy at work said hi to the baby once and said, "Hi baby girl! Oh! I don't know why I called it a girl, haha!"

So, we'll see.


My mom got me this pregnancy book.


That Baby got some new boots to go with her leather jacket when Nana and I went shopping for maternity clothes.

That Baby is now in Minnesota with her mom for about three weeks for her mom's wedding. I miss them so much! I hope That Baby is doing okay, she really only knows her mom and is around a bunch of strangers. I hope they are good people as my sister is marrying into this family and I'm sure my niece will be left with them more than once while they are there. Yes, I'm a worried Auntie.

I also taught Marissa how to crochet Saturday night. Marissa is my friend Bruce's wife. It's nice to have a couple for Stu and I to hang out with. And they're usually up to hangin' out on the fly too. Gotta love that! Once she was doing well enough, I picked up my own crochet while we watched TV, then I promptly dropped the crochet and zoned on the TV and almost fell asleep a few times. I CAN'T STOP BEING TIRED!!! The boys played The World Of Warcraft boardgame. Ryn spent the night with my mom that night as my dad was out of town.

Preparing For The Ride Of My Life

Now Playing:
Most Haunted
The Ostrich Inn

As you may or may not know, we are now expecting a little Pixie-Kow. (I'm the pixie as Yarn Pixie and Stu is the cow as Deekow, one of his game characters.)


Well, here I am 6 weeks pregnant (with no make-up, ick.). I'm not actually showing yet, that's the bit of belly I've had before getting pregnant. My first OB appointment will be just after 8 weeks. I hope to take a picture every four weeks: 4,8,12,16, etc. Unfortunately I didn't think about until 6 weeks, so this is where it will start. Which is really okay, I look the same.

I also had just cut about three scragily, thin inches off my own hair to get off all the damage. Stu is now calling me a haircutter (like you would call one a murderer) and a hair freak and telling me, "You look like a boy!" Of course he doesn't mean any of this, but it's quite upsetting for him when I cut ANY of my hair, but he's trying to understand that if hair is going to grow long and healthy, it needs to start healthy... no split ends.

So, in expectance of this Pixie-Kow, I've now started this...


I can't stay away from it, it's exciting! I did it in colors that would suit a boy or a girl, since we don't know what it is yet.


I've already had this blanket done for a future baby, which Stu bought the yarn and gave to me as a birthday gift with the intention of my making a blanket for our first baby.

So, I figured it was my turn to pick colors and crocheted this current one, since the first was knit.

Plus, my mom's sweater has been frustrating me. Apparantly I can't read the sweater pattern very well because I've ripped out sections several times now and just recently ripped the whole front out to start it over.


Ashley and Danika visited us Friday night while Stu went out for drinks with Justin and some others. We watched Food Network, Friends, danced to Lady Gaga and had ice cream. It was a fun night.

In our continuing quest to watch all things Star Trek, we watched Star Trek IV The Voyage Home last night. My favorite Star Trek movie so far. It's so funny!